Yes sometimes I craved rougher and naughtier sex but that was okay. I loved Jim. We had an amazing romance. He was my man. Jim asked me to marry him. I was just 21 years old and Jim was 26. I said I loved him but I wasn’t ready. He got so mad. I never had seen him like this. It was like he became a different person. We would argue and cry. Jim didn’t understand. I realized later that Jim was used to getting whatever he wanted. Especially from women. He couldn’t stand it that he finally put himself out there and a woman turned down his proposal of marriage. Jim broke it off with me. I was in shock. The next day after crying my eyes out I made a decision. I picked up the phone and called a man. A married man. An older man. A man that I knew wanted me. A man that used to objectify me with his eyes and his words. Oh, and yes it was someone that Jim knew very well. It was Jim’s former boss. In part 4 of Good Girl Gone Bad I begin to tell the story of how this good girl made a decision. I have to admit that my control of the time situation was entirely out of my hands because I never knew from one moment to another if I would suddenly on my way back to my own time.Excuse me if I call the twenty-first century as my time because it is the one that I sense is my anchor in time and one that I will eventually return to if all goes well in the past.If you have noticed that I seldom refer to the “future” in my journal, it is more because I have an underlying sense of caution about venturing into that unknown land of indefinite possibilities. I suspect that any tinkering with future circumstances even in the slightest will result in an alternate dimension in my current reality in 2015.One example of that is the unintended consequence of regressing biologically in terms of age in a like and equal time in the current time period. It was entirely unexpected but I took it as a welcome perk of the process and was grateful that the other direction was not the result.Because I had.
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